When I got to the party
They gave me a forty
And I must've been thirsty
'Cause I drank it so quickly
When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isn't my fault
That the barbarian raped me
When I went to get tested
I brought along my best friend
Melissa Mahoney
Who had once been molested
And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses
They were all really friendly
But the test came out positive
Uh-oh
I've seen better days but I don't care
I just sent a letter in the mail
When I got my abortion
I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour
Before the appointment
And outside the building
There were all these annoying
Fundamentalist Christians
We tried to ignore them
Oh-oh
I've had better days but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail
When vacation was over
The word was all over
That I was a crack whore
Melissa had told them
And so now were not talking
Except we have tickets
To see blur in October
And I think were still going
Oh-oh
I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh I just got a letter in the mail
Oasis sent a photograph
Its autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself
I swear