I considered writing down all my fears on a single blank sheet
But I don't know where to buy big rolls of butcher paper
I considered telling you that I suffer from
Agoraphobia-phobia
That I'm afraid that one day
I'll be too afraid to leave my house
That my couch will be my cloister
And my habits my attire
And the ants in their cells my monks
I considered setting all my fears to music
But I don't know how to transcribe whispers
I don't know how to notate nonsense
What's the symbol for a nervous hiccup?
A broken grace-note, a shattered tie
A dissonant chord chopping through all the good melodies
I decided to leave poor enough alone
Because my fears are really shadowpuppets
And if I want, I can move the flashlight away from my hands
Except when I'm not holding the flashlight
Or When I'm not running my hands
Or When I'm not in charge of eyeball mechanics
But I'm not strapped to a dogchair in an alligatorcave
And so rabbitfist shadows aren't my only context
And I've seen real rabbits, and I've walked a dog
And it's ok to be afraid of alligators
And crackhead muggers
And ten car pile-ups
And black mold
And death
It's ok to be afraid that your fears can grow stronger
Because that just proves they can grow weaker too