Girl
I saw you had...
I saw you had a bunch of Lean Cuisine wrappers in the trashcan
Don't you know that's no good
You deserve something finer
You need fresh fruits, vegetables, some candies
That's why I'm here for you, all you have to do is call
I'll come over and prepare something nutritious
That's what you need.
Make you a trail mix with full size Kit Kats
Do it real quick, show me where the bowl is at
Add some peanuts and mix 'em with some raisins
Put some M&M's in and top it with some Craisins
I'm the Expert Chef
I'm the Expert Chef
Scrub a tub of cream cheese on a wheat pita
Make a Frito pie and spell your name out in Velveeta
I can decorate a cake
I can decorate a cupcake
or a tray of cupcakes
I'm the Expert Chef
I'm the Expert Chef
Little roll of Saran Wrap, I don't need very much... Saran Wrap.
I'm an expert
I'm an expert
I heard you wanted a hotdog
I don't cook hotdogs
But if I did I would sous-vide 'em
Put 'em on a plate and hold 'em out so you could see 'em
and flush 'em down the crapper like an Oscar Mayer BM
I'm the Expert Chef
I can make a little Snicker bar salad
All you need is Snicker bars, and a little talent
Pair it with a piece of Chicken Pat탩
And tell the sommelier to speak Fran탧ais
I'm the Expert Chef
I'm the Expert Chef
Come on baby
Let's go...
Let's go clear out the freezer
You don't have to live like that no more
Eatin' Smart Ones
Havin' some ol' fake turkey gravy on some ol' fake potatoes
I'll cook you real poatoes
I'll cook you sweet potatoes
I'll cook African potatoes
I'll cook French potatoes
I can scallop or squeeze them
You know you don't...
You don't have to have Hot Pockets no more, let's just...
Let's get the trashcan and just throw it all out
That's right.
We're living a different life now.
It's gonna be beautiful.