I walked up to the building
Knocked on the window, secretary drew the blinds slow
Let me in, I got something important
Heard her yell back to the back, hey do you know him
The door buzzed and I pulled it open
Took out my briefcase, the guard said he's homeless
I laughed and said "Close, my friend, I'm an artist"
Popped the lock and some cashews fell out
The floor was clean so I chucked em in my mouth
Five second rule, I said with a glare
That's a lie, I eat any food anywhere
A lady walked up while I was crunchin
Clicked her heels like Edvard Munchin
Hands to her face like the famous scream
Said we don't participate in pyramid schemes
I laughed again and I told her "No way
I'm not Herbalife, Quixtar or Amway
I'm just here to spread some cheer
Here comes Santa and the 12 reindeer"
Then I let out a noxious explosion
Gas from my ass with the odor of goat skin
Air turned yellow and they all started chokin
That's real art, I'll sign it if you got a pen