I got myself a record deal
But now I need a hit
I sent my CD in to Dr. Fox
But he said "Kunt, all your songs are shit!"
"The problem is you seem obsessed
With stiffy's, poo chutes and lady's breasts"
I said "Doctor, isn't there anything that I could do
That would make you change your point of view?"
Dr. Fox, if I suck your cock
Can you get me a slot on 'Top of the Pops'?
If you rig the charts I'll let you frig my parts
And satisfy your cock and bollocks up my arse
Dr. Fox didn't seem impressed
He said "I'm afraid that I like pussy's best
To doink you up the chad, I've no interest
That's not the way I like to lose my mess
You should go and see Jonathan King
He likes to poke it up a young man's ring
I'm sure he'd launch a career for you
If you let him pop it where you poo"
But Dr. Fox, if I suck your cock
Can't you get me a slot on 'Top of the Pops'?
If you rig the charts I'll let you frig my parts
And satisfy your cock and bollocks up my arse
Dr. Fox, no-one has to know
I'll nosh you if you get us on the radio
I'll wank your tool and cup your hairy balls
If you can get my records played on Capital
Come on, Doctor, help me get to the top
And I'll come to your surgery for a cough and drop