When I'm in a night club I always seek
Tasty looking girls with whom I'd like to speak
But if I want a girl who's gonna help me reach my peak
I always make sure that she's rank
If you want a loving and a long relationship
You might want to insure your partner is quite fit
But if you want a girl who says "Spunk on my tits"
You'd better make sure that she's rank
If you want a girl who's gonna spank your plank
You'd better make sure that she's rank
Even if she's a fucking disgrace
Or got a big birth mark on her face
If she's got two boobs and a chuff
She'll help me win the milk race
Well, what about facial hair?
Or a smell that emanates from downstairs?
A bit of a 'tache or a whiffy gash
Hell, I don't care!
If you want a girl who enters beauty shows and always wins
She'll need a lovely figure and some gorgeous pins
But if you want your corey sucked behind the Co-op bins
You'd better make sure that she's rank
If you want a girl who you can take home to meet your folks
She'll be nice, respectful, politely smile at jokes
But if you're 6 months down the line and want a sweaty poke
You'd better make sure that she's rank
If you want a girl who's gonna spank your plank
You'd better make sure that she's
You have to make sure that she's
You'd better make sure that she's rank
Make sure that she's rank!