I wanted a record deal but I was too rude
I tried approaching companies but they did not approve
Until I met this one guy, a corrupt A&R man
He said "Kunt, I will sign you but you have to understand"
"I want to utilise your bum as somewhere I can put
My fingers and my hands, my toes and then my foot
My penis and testes, my tongue and then my head"
I mulled it over carefully and this is what I said:
CHORUS:
"Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse
Go on then, just this once
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Use my arse, use my arse
Use my arsehole, use my arse"
I started feeling guilty as if I'd sold my soul
I started feeling itchy around my bumhole
I started feeling achy around my underneath
I realised he'd used my bum without using a sheath
So I went to the doctors because my bum was sore
I needed my bum sorting out 'cause I was due on tour
The doctor took a look at it and said "It looks quite raw"
"It looks itchy and flaky but I just can't be sure
I need to use your bum myself if I'm to find a cure"
Come on, penetrate me
Make me feel like a lady
But don't push it in too deep
Or you might end up with shit around your brim